Writing & Parenting

An invitation.

For many years, my most satisfying writing days have been the ones where I get 2000 words down in 3 hours while also getting 2 loads of laundry clean (if not folded). Anyone who is a work-from-home parent will get why this particular multitask is so satisfying: I’m taking care of my family while also taking care of business, at 0 cost to either one.

Family and work are not always so simpatico, however, and writers almost always have to have another income stream, especially when we are also single parents. Which means that a single-mom novelist like me ALSO has to have an additional “career” to pay the bills.

For many years, that additional career was teaching, which I loved. There was a synergy between writing and teaching writing that improved both pursuits. I took some time off teaching when my daughter was young, and when I returned to it, somehow teaching and writing didn’t work together the same way anymore. Plus, commuting to an adjunct gig didn’t make any sense financially, nor did it help my already-crowded calendar.

I had to find something else.

I looked for other kinds of work. I looked hard. I networked. I took people out for coffee. I even started a LinkedIn page!

And I got nowhere. No 35 year old (or hey, even 55 year old) hiring manager knew what to do with a 48 year old bestselling author who was also an award-winning editor and two-decade teacher who was applying for low-level “communication” jobs.

So I had a come-to-Jesus talk with myself and said, “What are you really trying to solve for here, Kerri?”

The answer: the next 20 years of my working life.

Another answer: I want that work to be meaningful, not just a “paycheck job.”

Another answer: I want that career to be in mental health.

Another answer: I want to keep doing laundry while working, and I want to keep driving my teen daughter to her afternoon activities, which also means I need to be home when she gets home from school. These precious days with her are numbered - she’ll have a driver’s license in fewer than 2 years, and will be off to college in a little more than 4. When I really thought about it, I realized that I actually want to be her Uber to activities, because that’s when we do most of our talking. This will mean I must work hours way outside of M-F, 9-5, and I’ve decided I’m okay with that.

I get to decide, because I’m the boss: another answer.

So here I am with my Ultimate Answer: Parent Coaching.

When I knew I wanted to work in mental health, it was because I wanted to be able to help parents who had struggled as I’d struggled—as I still struggle, because there is no such thing as a perfect parent, and (as I’ve learned) no coach worth their salt would pretend to be “perfect” at the thing they are coaching.

Since October, I’ve been enrolled in the Jai Institute for Parenting, and I’ve learned so much about myself as a person and a parent, all of which has dramatically improved my relationship with my daughter and some other important people in my life. I feel, at last, like I am parenting in alignment with my own values of unconditional love, collaboration, and mutual respect.

Concurrent with this course, I’ve done significant reading about romantic relationships, and teenagers, and anger management - and guess what? Almost all of the experts in those fields are talking about the same basic things: self-regulation and co-regulation, and how to accomplish both with knowledge of brain, nervous system, and attachments science. I’ll be writing about these fascinating and important subjects on my NEW SUBSTACK for my coaching business, The Well-Resourced Parent. (Don’t worry, sandcastles will continue to be the newsletter for all things Kerri Maher, writer of historical fiction)

I hope you’ll accept this invitation to subscribe to, and invite others to subscribe to

Thanks so much for all you do to support me!

And - if you or someone you know needs coaching ASAP, I’m available! Contact me via my website: www.thewellresourcedparent.com

Warmly,

Kerri